The Laws of Love

By Ryan Keys-Mathews

I would like to extend a warm welcome, and to say thank you for your interest. This is the start to a wonderful relationship with you my Global Women Readers!

I hope to accomplish a variety of things with this column. First, I hope to empower the divine essence, and betterment of all people especially women. This may seem a bit odd that a man made a choice to not only advise, but also provide unfiltered insights to a man’s mind. The travesty of our current society begins with the physical and emotional abuse women endure from men, that it is not only accepted but encouraged. Over the course of my columns I hope to explore ways to empower women to stand up for themselves, and embrace the divinity that they represent. I also pray that I can inspire a new level of interaction, and appreciation between the sexes.

I have received a lot of inquiries regarding finding someone special, and whether a woman should wait for that special someone. As we all know that is what life is all about, right? The storybook ending of guy meets girl, girl falls for guy, and they live happily ever after. We all have seen a movie about it, or surely know someone who has had it happen to them. I know that it's possible, beyond a shadow of doubt. My own mom even found someone after being widowed 10 years prior! Yes, they live a meager (but joyous) life in the sweet surroundings of love and passion. How many people do you know — or know of — that have done the same, or at least have started down that path to prenuptial bliss. Whoops. Did I say prenuptial? I almost forgot even a storybook ending has to come with a bumper-to-bumper warrantee. So if this item fails, you shall end up exactly right where you started; I suppose you must do what you must do. Now rolling on to the definition of what defines us as couples coupling in my opinion.

Soul mates, twin souls, fate, destiny, or karma are all terms used to define what we believe to be the end result of our venture to find a life partner. And I will be the first to tell you; no one said that was easy, especially in today’s world. It would seem that many people are single, fancy free and afraid to settle, or settled in with the two kids, two cars, and a house combo! No, I'm not trying to rain on anyone's parade when it comes to finding that special someone. It is more than a possibility; it is a probability if you believe it will happen for you! Belief is that tiny seed of faith which will see you through the most desperate of times, so get it while its HOT!

I subscribe to my own "Laws of Love"— attraction, action, and satisfaction. Attraction is to believe like attracts like, and that if you can think it, you can do it! How does that apply to a confident career driven woman finding love? Ever wanted that new car that just came out? Or remember that new pair of Forzieri shoes in the window? So you dwell on it quite a bit, and then it hits like a Hurricane! You see that item everywhere you turn, and now your level of wanting will either explode or extinguish. The same goes for love. How can you attract love if you don't dwell on it? Try a little home experiment with this theory. Write a paragraph or two about the person you would ultimately want in your life, describing them emotionally, physically, and such. Then write another paragraph of how this would affect your life for the better. Make sure you also include the characteristics that will enable you to get the most out of your life, and enhance the quality of your state of being. Also, part of this attraction scenario would be to take a real detailed inventory of yourself, and aligning your expectations to meet who you truly are inside and out! Then fold it up, and think about what you wrote a few minutes everyday. That's what I call the law of attraction; and if you combine this with faith, you will see results!

The final two laws are action and satisfaction. Action would be summed up as putting forth the efforts to bring what you want "to you." In other words, go out, go to the gym, go get coffee, and basically put yourself in the places where fate can come to you. The more you are seen, the better your chances are for finding a companion.

The hardest of all these laws would have to be the last, right? (As if the first two laws are a cake walk.) Satisfaction, what does that mean to you? To some it may be a white picket fence, two cars, two kids, an ocean view, becoming a stay-at-home mom with a doctor for a husband. Okay step back for a minute, and wake up! Nothing in life is ever perfect. No one person will ever entertain happiness 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Satisfaction starts with self, and then is applied to serving yourself and others around you. Your partner will never satisfy the ability to silence your own inner voice. This is something you have to satisfy yourself, or you may end up walking away from the very thing you love. The law of satisfaction is primarily being able to accept yourself, accept your situation, and accept that we all have faults. Then by building a relationship from the ground up — through communication, appreciation, and consideration — you will then be able to reach a satisfactory level of love!

Give this boy a pat on the back! Nurse, it seems that the doctor is in — the LOVE DOCTOR that is! Come on. Don't rob me of my sarcastic ability to flatter myself. Relationships are not easy, and they take a lot of work. So if you are looking for the fast route to a fantasy life filled with love and no work, keep on dreaming. On a heart-to-heart level, I myself encounter moments of discouragement and often feel as if I may not be able to make it work; no one is ever perfect. The grass may seem to be greener somewhere else, but it will all have to be mowed — no matter where you put your feet. So if you love the person you are with, try your best to make it work until it just doesn't work at all. Then at least you know you tried your best. In the words of Patton, "If a person does their best, what else is there?" Yes I know his quote bluntly states Man, but it's the age of women's equality, so I decided to sub "person" for "man." You may ask, who am I to rewrite anyone’s quote?  I say I am one of the “Men” this quote was designed to motivate, and my motivations are to be my best. That includes being able to adapt, grow, nurture, and respect everyone! In the vain of those who inspired change before me, I say let’s not just re-write a quote, but re-write our past to better our future. Sadly I leave you, and I bid all of you farewell until next time. Always feel free to email your questions and comments either here, or to Ryan@CoachmeCasanova.com. Until that time, single is as single does, so start thinking soul mate!